When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know
how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I
want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I
just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car,
and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it
into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and
energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and
found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went
straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an
eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on
our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's
duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I
thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my
wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was
absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,
she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact
since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried
her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a
sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and
said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the
bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day,
both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell
the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this
woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage
had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense
of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her
life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our
sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one
morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly
realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could
carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so
much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and
touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad,
it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his
mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to
our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away
because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then
held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room,
to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I
held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in
my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held
her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not
want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and
then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her
hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage
life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of
our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize
that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed
to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly
wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst
into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral
shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The
salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll
carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane
to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save
me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push
thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a
The small details of your lives are what
really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car,
property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive
for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to
be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up...
A Bank Passbook !!
married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Piya's mother
gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook With Rs.1000 deposit
Mother: Piya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record
of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable
happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about
next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you
can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with
Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness
Piya shared this with Hitesh when getting home.
They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the
second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Piya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Piya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
.... and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial
things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the
most nasty people in the world.... no more love... One day Piya talked
to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore.
We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if
you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember
the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money
and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor
Piya thought it was true. So she went to the bank,
waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was
waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked,
and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just
came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and
went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked
him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Piya.
She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record:
'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these
years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe."Life is about correcting mistakes."
An old man was traveling with his 25 yr old son in the train. Train is about to leave the station. All passengers are settling down their seat.
As train started young man was filled with lot of joy and curiosity. He was sitting on the window side. He went out one hand and feeling the passing air. He shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind". Old man smile and admired son feelings.
Beside the young man one couple was sitting and listing all the conversion between father and son. They were little awkward with the attitude of 25 yr old man behaving like a small child. Suddenly young man again shouted, "Papa see the pond and animals. Clouds are moving with train". Couple was watching the young man in embarrassingly. Now its start raining and some of water drops touches the young man's hand. He filled with joy and he closed the eyes. He shouted again, "Papa it's raining, water is touching me, see papa".
Father was happy!
Couple couldn't help themselves and ask the old man, "Why don't you visit the Doctor and get treatment for your son." Old man said, "Yes, we are coming from the hospital; my son was born blind and today only he got the eye sight for the first time".
Moral: Don't draw conclusions until you know all the facts.